This is a post I’ve been wanting to write for a long time but just wasn’t sure how to go about it. Like perhaps many of you, I have had a love/hate relationship with my scale since as long as I can remember. For many years I let a number on my scale dictate my mood for the day, influence my self esteem and define my self worth. Just rereading that last sentence, it jumps out to me how ridiculous that is. I ditched my scale and here’s what I’ve learned.
Friend or Foe?
Some days the scale was my BFF showing me numbers I thought were “good” and reinforcing my sense of control. The “good” number told me I was making the right exercise and nutrition choices. Ah these were the days that made it all worth it or were they?
Then as quickly as my BFF could say restart, she turned on me. Wait what happened? Are we not friends anymore? These were the days that I second guessed everything and felt insecure and frustrated. I really gave this battery operated gizmo lots of power.
After working for many years in the eating disorders field and learning more about myself, the scale began to have less power over me. As I’ve grown older and immersed myself in the running and fitness scene, that has helped me to feel more confident and secure. However, that darn scale was still there looking at me. I would still allow my old “friend” to exert her peer pressure.
I ditched her!
Then one day, about 2 years ago, I ditched her! I went cold turkey and broke up with her. I moved on and we don’t hang out anymore. So what happened you ask? Well absolutely nothing. I didn’t gain tons of weight or stop fitting in my clothes but what I did gain was a new perspective.
What I’ve learned
-Women have normal weight fluctuations throughout the month and there is no need at all for me to monitor them on a daily basis. They are going to happen no matter what I do.
-I know I eat a well rounded, healthy vegetarian diet with what I believe to be the right amount of calories for me. I don’t need a number on a scale to tell me that.
-I know I exercise 6 days a week, don’t smoke & rarely drink. I know I make good choices and live a healthy lifestyle. I don’t need a scale to remind me of that.
-Age and weight really are just numbers! Neither one is meaning a whole lot to me right now. I feel better than I ever have.
-It’s so liberating! I am genuinely so much happier not letting a number define my self worth or mood for the day. I’ve realized there are so many more important things.
It’s been 2 years since I’ve last chatted with my ex-friend and I don’t miss her at all. I realize that ditching the scale is not the right decision for everyone but it is the right choice for me. I’d love to know how you feel about the scale?
Tell me: Is the scale friend or foe for you?
Linking up with AnneMarie, Nicole, Michelle & AngelinaMarie
Also linking up with Jill
And Jenn for the Sunday Blog Hop @ Because I’m Cheap join us!
I cannot remember the last time I got on the scale. Wait, yes I can – at my annual physical. Otherwise, rarely. I go more by how my abs look (haha that sounds totally vain and ridiculous, I know) and how my clothes fit. I think we all know when we feel like we’re gaining or losing weight. I knew after our honeymoon and Christmas that I had put on some weight but I have no idea how much. I just knew it was time to stop eating junked start eating salads again. And slowly, the fluff weight started to go away. I think ditching the scale can be really healthy!
That’s exactly how I feel! Go by how you feel. We all know when we over do it a little and it’s time to rein it in.
Good for you!!! I haven’t had a scale for years! I’m so compulsive and weighing myself would really mess with my head, I think. I just go by how I feel and how my clothes fit. I think it’s more about that than the numbers.
I completely agree it just took me a few decades to get there!
I think the scale is tough for so many women. It’s really easy to place your value in what the number says. I love that you shared what you learned. once we can realize those things, it makes it way easier to get rid of the scale!
It really does! It had so much control over me for so long that it was time for it to just go
I used to have a serious problem with the scale. I am not as confident of my choices as you are, but my jeans are just as good as an indicator of when I need to rein in my indulgences as the scale is.
So many runners have a problem with the scale. I used to have a problem with the scale as well but after all these decades it was time for it to just go. Yes clothes are a good indicator and I also know when I’ve had a week of over indulging and need to get back on track.
Love this post!! I weigh myself regularly, but not as a mood-determiner or diet/fitness gauge. As you mentioned, our weight will fluctuate…. not only monthly (been there, done that), but also daily. For me, it’s more of a gauge of my hydration. In general, if my weight is “up,” it’s usually an indication that I’m retaining water (which is an indication that I need to be drinking MORE). I have a lot more muscle tone now, and I weight a few more pounds than five years ago…but all of my clothes fit better. And, more importantly, I feel better 😉
You are right-as I started to gain muscle my weight changed also and that bothered me. So ridiculous really! Sounds like you have a healthy relationship with your scale. Thanks for stopping by today
The scale is like a doctor: I go for visits when I feel something is up. Good for you for doing what is best for you!
That’s a healthy way to look at it! Thanks it took me a few decades to get there but I am so much happier
ooohhh I am glad I stopped by – great read! And so important. Counting calories is dead, inaccurate and should be defunked!
I agree and that’s another post I should write! I am glad you stopped by too! Have a great day
I love, love, love this!! Great reminder that numbers really are just that, numbers.
Thanks appreciate that! It took years for me to get there it’s so liberating
I am glad I stopped by to read this. I am so happy you posted this. I am a nutritionist and its hard to get people away from counting calories. It’s not only inaccurate but it just adds so much stress to peoples lives.
With a background in ED treatment myself, I saw so many women just beat themselves up over it. With age comes wisdom I hope. Nice to connect with you
I do not own a scale, but I do weigh in every week at my WW meeting. I need the accountability, because believe me, I’ve tried on my own and let’s just say it isn’t pretty.
While yes, the scale will effect my mood sometimes, it doesn’t last long. Either the happiness or being pissed off.
Everyone is different: some people can weigh themselves daily and it actually motivates them. Others can weight themselves daily and it causes them to throw in the towel.
I often go by how the clothes feel, but I still need the accountability of a weekly weigh in. And the meeting; for me, the meeting is key. We have a great meeting and we laugh a lot. And sometimes we bear our souls.
We are all an experiment of one, though, and we need to find our own way/weighs. 🙂
It sounds like you really have a healthier relationship with your scale and can use it to monitor yourself in a positive way. I admire that because I imagine that is the point really. WE do all need to find our own way. It took me years to realize this. Thanks for chiming in!
Believe me, it wasn’t always the case! It took decades to get to this point, unfortunately.
For me too!
Very well stated! I go through phases of weighing myself daily, weekly, or rarely. Usually when taking a long break I step back on it when starting a new program because it’s one of those numbers to fill out with the measurements.
For far to often I gave it too much control and really try to find a balance. I really need to put more weight into how I feel especially since I got in the habit of stepping on it regularly again and getting upset since I have gained weight since the beginning of the year (yes since after the holidays) and have been eating better and working out a lot more (too many double days the last 2 weeks trying to get on a schedule and routine adding in the running).
The biggest thing I think for me is data, I am a huge “tech and data junkie” which is why I got my Polar M400. Yet the one thing I can’t track or I lose it is food.
Thank you for sharing this it really makes me think, maybe it’s time to have a different perspective.
Thanks that was the point really to get others to think about how much power we give the numbers on the scale. Thanks for sharing
The scale is a foe for me for SURE! I don’t like stepping on it I feel disappointed after for sure. I hate when I’ve been eating well and working out and it does not budge. I avoid it all together except for once or twice a week
That’s exactly my point! You know when you have been eating well and working out you don’t need the scale to confirm it.
Great post! I agree, numbers shouldnt define us. Who needs the added stress? Have a great week
Totally agree! Thanks for stopping by
haha! They say we are the company we keep! The scale was bringing you down!!! I have one that I kept for when I was working and actually having trouble keeping weight on because of my stress levels… but that doesn’t seem to be an issue anymore 🙂
I totally agree with you here! Ditch friends that aren’t helping you!
And oh…. do I have those weight fluctuations too!
Exactly! We all have weight fluctuations and I don’t need to see them everyday.
I adore this post! I think letting a number dictate our happiness is just silly. If you love what you’re doing, if you feel good and you are kicking life’s butt, who cares what the scale says! You rock, my friend.
Thanks Nicole! It took me so many decades to get to this point but it’s so liberating!
Good for you! I rarely use the scale, but I do occasionally check in. I try (and usually succeed) not to let the numbers bother me, even though they are always a little higher than I’d like. I remind myself that I’m healthy, fit, and, well, 58 years old, so I deserve those few extra pounds! 🙂
Sounds like you have a normal relationship with your scale. I wasn’t really able to do that so after all these years I had to let it go
I ditched the scale years ago and at a recent doctor appt, I refused to even look at the scale. I literally have no idea how much I weigh- I just go based on how I feel and that is enough for me! 🙂
That’s exactly what I’ve been doing and I am so much happier aren’t you?
Ahhh…….. I am almost ashamed to admit that I still weight myself every morning, however, I now just look at the number and move on. Before when I was up 3 pounds, I would get mad at myself. Now when I am up 3 pounds, I know that some is water weight fluctuation and some is that I have probably had a little too much the last week and I adjust. That being said, my weight has not changed in years, so do I really need the scale??? As someone who had eating issues for 30 years until she started running and the eating issues almost completely went away, I still don’t think I’m ready to let go of the scale. I commend you! Bravo!!
So many of us have had eating issues but that’s another post. I am so much happier now
I no longer weigh myself either and while I agree with everything you have said, I still have ambiguous feelings about abandonning the scale. Because my weight did increase when I gave it up.( I know because my clothes don’t fit as well). But I try to focus on the positive and everything my body can do…. but deep down I am a control freak and the scale was my Partner in crime.
Yes it can be a partner in crime! I would suggest you look at the amazing things you have accomplished in the last year which have nothing to do with the number on your scale 🙂
Ah, the lovely scale. The last few years I’ve trained for a full marathon led to eating all the food which led to a 10 lb weight gain. The scale is my friend, because it keeps me accountable. I can definitely see where ditching it is a good idea, too!!
Ditching it is not for everyone and I can totally get that. It just pains me when I hear women be so hard on themselves for a number they see. It sounds like you have a good handle on it.
I really struggle with this as well. Recently I’ve been ridiculous about getting on the scale multiple times a day 🙁 I’ve been thinking about banishing it as well and trying to just concentrate on healthy behaviors instead of an arbitrary number. I’m glad to know you feel like it was a good decision for you!
I went through many years of doing just that and honestly it is just not helpful at all. Banishing the scale may or may not be right for you but I hope you don’t let it have the power to control your emotions. It is a tough one indeed
amazing!! I hope to get to the point where I can ditch the scale. But for now it’s more of an accountable factor to clean up my diet.
That’s great if you can use it in a productive way. I just got to the point where I could not and I needed to make a change.
The only time I hit the scale is when I see my dietitian every couple of months. I’ve never been interested in stalking my weight with a scale. I’ve gained weight in the past few years, but I know that overall I’m healthy and strong.
That’s a great attitude I love it! Sounds like you have a healthy way of looking at your weight.
YES YES YES!! I couldn’t agree more! I stopped using the scale and haven’t looked back! Wise words my friend! Thanks for sharing! 🙂
Thank you for chiming in! It is just so liberating isn’t it?!
I step on the scale somewhat regularly just to make sure I’m in a general range of where I feel comfortable (i.e a reality check after I have an inkling that I might be eating just a bit too many sweets or something) – but I feel pretty lucky that I’ve never been someone who is easily affected by the number. As long as I’m feeling good, working out, and eating right – I’m good. 🙂
That sounds like a really healthy way to look at weight. I just wasn’t able to do that so after decades of letting the scale have power I was ready to let go.
Best decision ever! That bitch just lies! LOL! My hubby is the only one who gets on that scale and more power to him! I know so many people are chained to that number and I feel bad for them, that is no way to live! Great post!
You are right it’s no way to be happy for sure. It feels so liberating!
Love this post! Good for you. 🙂 I rarely weigh myself because I prefer to go by how I feel, how clothes fit, and how I look. Most importantly, I want to treat my body well and feel energized and confident – there’s no number that represents that for me!
That’s exactly how I feel! Thanks for stopping by to chime in. I am glad to hear that you are in a positive place too.
I never owned a scale until one was given to me recently and while it’s nice and has some really cool features… I still don’t really use it. Truth is the most I stepped on a scale was in my pregnancies!
Yes well during pregnancy it is useful to track for health reasons as well. My husband uses the one I received recently-I just sort of walk by it and give it dirty looks 🙂
I probably weigh myself once every 3 to 4 months just to see what it says, but I tend to go by how I am feeling and if my clothes fit or not.
Sounds like you have a healthy normal relationship with your scale. I think I am more of an all or nothing person so that is hard for me to do
I haven’t had a scale since I moved in to my current home in 2008. I do not miss it one bit. We do have a scale here in the office that I use once every few months just to see what I weight but the result (if negative) does not effect my mood. It does effect my food choices for the next day or so.
I imagine that is how a normal person would react. I was giving my scale way too much power over my emotions and that just had to stop. Appreciate your sharing your thoughts
I was obsessed with weighing myself while pregnant, much more than I usually am. I was so worried about putting on too much weight, but I think I let myself get in my head way too much. I’ve only weighed myself a couple of times since having the baby, and am trying to remind myself that how I look and feel is much more important than the number on the scale.
During pregnancy is hard because weight might be a risk factor for certain things. It’s really also very hard to see your body changing so much. Sounds like you are in a good place now with it and I know you are already back to all of your activity.
I am the weirdest person on earth, I actually like to step on the scale daily. It reminds me where I need to be, tells me my success. But fortunately I don’t let it devalue me or my progress or non progress. But when it comes down to it, I still prefer the clothes I wear to tell me the real truth, nothing better than a pair of pants that were tight, feeling loose!
I do know a lot of people a few close friends who let scales get to them too much, and pretty much exactly what your talking about, they’d do better to ditch the scale so it doesn’t mess with their self value!
You are not weird at all! I think that you are the normal one. Using the scale in that way sounds like it works well for you and you don’t let it impact your emotions. I am just not able to do that so after all of this time I had to just say goodbye
Neither friend nor foe… just information… same as my FitBit or a clock.
Sounds like you have a much healthier outlook than I do! I think that’s how it’s supposed to be 🙂
I’ve been changing diet and programming so the scale is a constant. I wouldn’t say we are friends but we aren’t foes anymore. It just is. I’m practicing on that anyways.
Hey sounds like a plan to me!
I support any of my clients who chooses to ditch the scale!! All of your points are AWESOME, and I agree with all of them 🙂 the scale doesn’t really show anything but a silly number!
I know! I was tired of giving it more power than it deserved 🙂
Uugh! The scale.
In the beginning we were the best of friends and then she started just making me feel like crap! I ditched her cold turkey too!!
I am condiering the racing weight book/program and it suggest weekly weigh in and I just don’t think I am ready for that….I have to really think about it.
My weight in no way represents me but for some reason the number still has a hold on me.
I can’t get a certain weight out of my head and it haunts me 🙁
That’s exactly how I felt! It’s so silly isn’t it?! Would you be able to do the Racing Weight program and not weigh yourself? I wonder if you could use measurements of your body instead? Just a thought thanks for sharing with me
Yes, throw that scale away!! I just go by my measurements, how my clothes are fitting, and how I feel overall. GREAT post!
Thank you! I totally agree now after years of beating myself up over it.
I should have some of my clients read this! I once had a client who was so freaked out because even though she dropped two dress sizes and looked fabulous, her scale didn’t registered the number she wanted. She complained that I hadn’t done my job…
I have a scale and step on it when I feel that I’ve slipped a little. It helps keep me in check when I need it. I don’t; however, allow that little gadget to determine my self worth.
You obviously have a healthy relationship with your scale! And wow your client was not pleased with her 2 dress size loss?
The scale and I are not on the best of terms, so we’ve agreed to stop seeing each other for a time…
I am right there with you! I think we will both be happier 🙂
Yours is an inspiring story! Last year I realized I was letting my scale define me, so this year one of my resolutions was to stop that insanity. It’s true–it’s just a number! The important thing is how I look and feel. I haven’t ditched my scale completely yet, but I am seeing much less of her these days!
Jennifer I am glad to hear that you too recognized some of the negative power that the scale can have on you. You are right, the most important thing is how you feel about you. Thanks for stopping by today
I still weigh myself periodically but try not to obsess. A better way for me to keep track is how my clothes fit.
Glad it’s working for you!
I absolutely agree! Sounds like you have a healthy relationship with yours.
I have a good relationship with my scale in general. It acts as a reminder to me if I’ve been snacking too much or eating too much during marathon training. I’ve given it up for months at a time and my weight always starts sliding up. Thankfully, it’s just one of the tools I use to stay healthy and generally doesn’t affect my mood.
Glad that ditching it has worked for you!
It’s great that you can use your scale in the way it was designed to be used. I do feel so much happier not weighing myself anymore.
I love this post so much. I think we women can get too wrapped up in the numbers and control game. The scale is a good tool for those who need to lose a significant amount of weight because it’s a black and white representation progress tracker. I tend to go scale crazy when I’m training for a marathon because I try to make sure I’m not over carb loading. 😉 otherwise I check in monthly to make sure I’m in good check.
I agree with you-for some people it can be a really big help to them. For me I did tend to get scale crazy and I just felt like it was time to stop. Thanks for chiming in!
I have a scale but rarely use it! The numbers don’t mean much to me because like you said we have weight fluctuations throughout the month. I actually don’t really need to use the scale especially with running and exercising so much. It is all about how you feel. Great post!
Thanks! I agree that it’s all about how we feel and those who exercise a lot tend to have a good feel for their bodies.
I absolutely DO NOT own a scale. I love it. I feel free and happy. I can tell by the way my clothes fit if I need to make an adjustment. It doesn’t make me feel sad or upset about the numbers. I went for a check up last week and was weighed for the first time in a long, long time. I saw the number and I didn’t care. I feel happy and healthy + I love food. I think ditching the scale is the smartest thing a woman can do 🙂
I feel exactly the same way! So glad that you have such a great self image. Thanks for sharing your thoughts
I can’t remember the last time I used a scale. Recovering from an eating disorder I realized even more that it’s a trigger for me. It’s not necessary so I decided why put myself through it or even more so why put myself at risk.
Yes it has always been a trigger for me as well. I thought for a long time that I could keep it in my life but it was finally time to say goodbye for good. Thanks for sharing your thoughts today.
Good for you!!! I ditched my scale a while back and only use it {rarely} to make sure I’m staying healthy! I used to be compulsive about it and there is SO much freedom in ditching it! 🙂
I completely agree! So glad that we are both happier 🙂
We don’t even own a scale and I love it! I monitor my weight based on the fit of my clothes. Every so often when I’m at my parents house I’ll weigh myself on their scale, but that’s about it! It’s also nice, because if I’ve been trying to lose some weight, there’s more time in between scale visits, so I see bigger results!
That’s a great healthy way to look at it. Thanks for stopping by and chiming in.
It’s s true Deborah. Your clothes are a much better indicator. I ran 2 Marathons within 2 months and didn’t lose a pound, but my clothes are super lose! Good read.
Thanks I appreciate your chiming in on the subject. Your body was obviously at the weight it needed to be for you to crush out those miles.
I love this post! I have been weighing myself once a week bc of weightwatchers however, I know that numbers fluctuate. Sometimes I weigh myself before a run and then afterwards I’m like 2 lbs lighter…that number is not the be all end all 🙂
I used to do stuff like that too but I had enough of it. It’s a tough one for many
I need to check the scale now and then. A couple of times I tried a new diet and actually gained weight! If it weren’t for the scale, I might have gained more before knowing to quit the diet.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts-I know it’s helpful for some people just not for me right now. Thanks for stopping by today
Nice! I like your mindset towards it and the focus on health instead of a number. I never bought a scale of my own when I moved out of my mom’s place and got married 5 years ago. I will admit though that I weigh myself occasionally at my mom’s house or at friends’ houses, haha. Now it’s more for curiousity than to constantly be measuring how “good” I am or not.
Sounds like you have a healthy relationship with your scale and your weight. It’s nice to hear. Thanks for chiming in on this
What a great post! I spent 20 years of my life chained to the scale with my ED. Thankfully, I have gotten much better about it over the last few years. I look forward to the day when I can smash it to smithereens!
Esther thanks for sharing that. I had similar issues for many years and it really feels so liberating to let it go. I am glad to hear that you are in a better place too.
I don’t use the scales any more either – they are just pressure that I don’t need. I know I weigh a bit more than I did 10 years ago, but I still fit in my clothes, I’m still reasonably slim and healthy and I exercise to suit me and not to guilt myself into trying to beat the scales.
I love to hear that! Sounds like you have a healthy outlook on things. Thanks for sharing your thoughts