Yesterday I saw this clip from a recent talk given by Skirt Sports founder, Nicole DeBoom, that so spoke to me I felt the need to chat with you about it today. Nicole talks about positivity vs awfulness and how altering her attitude profoundly changed the way she kicked butt while winning her Iron Man race back in 2006. Yes she actually won it!
Positivity vs Awfulness
Confession: I am really great at being a cheerleader for my friends and fellow MRTT mamas. When they get nervous before a race, I can rationally remind them to trust their training and believe in the hard work that they have done. However, when it comes to myself, I can so easily allow myself to focus on things that could go wrong or doubt my training. I can let myself think of the “awfulness” or allow irrational fears to take over.
I know from my training in psychology and social work how negative thinking can derail the best of us on race day or any day. I’ve mentioned before how I get very anxious before big races. I start to worry about the weather and a dozen other factors that could impact my race. After listening to Nicole’s talk, I am motivated to try some of her tips to foster positivity and quell some of the negative self talk.
See Nicole DeBoom’s full talk here. I promise it does not disappoint.
Bring along a lucky charm or wear a lucky clothing item
Nicole talked about wearing the first ever running skirt (that she designed) during her Iron Man race and that one small thing gave her the confidence she needed to persevere. As people noticed her racing by in her skirt, she heard their comments and that gave her confidence and that confidence led to courage.
Just smile
Nicole reminded me that smiling is contagious. Even if you initially fake a smile, that smile can then lead to someone smiling back at you. Smiles are contagious and they can bring confidence.
If you are focusing solely on all that can go wrong, the “awfulness”, it makes it pretty difficult to perform at your best. Makes a whole lotta sense to me! While I won’t be doing an Iron Man, her perspective is applicable to any race or challenge. Now I just have to teach myself how to do it.
How about you? What are your tips for focusing on positivity vs awfulness? How do you quell negative self talk?
Linking up with:
Wild Workout Wednesday- Nicole, AnnMarie, Michelle, Jen
Coaches Corner- Suzy, Debbie, Rachel, Lora
As simple as it may sound, sometimes I just have to tell my brain to shut off. I have to go to a neutral place. Otherwise, anxiety can take over. I had lucky talismans for years–lucky socks, jewelry, etc. And at some point, I told myself that “you creat your own luck.” and that empowered me through the nerves!
I like that “you create your own luck”! I am working on this but I can so easily derail myself. Isn’t it funny how you can be so positive for others and struggle so much with yourself?
Love this post, Deborah! I agree with the smile thing. I’ve preached it before that if you just start smiling more, your mind will catch up. Fake it till’ ya make it!!
I would have loved to hear her speak!
Her talk is amazing check it out. I was so blown away when I met her a few weeks ago.
My most recent half marathon was all about getting through the distance. We just lost our dog two days before (she was 14) and I was struggling mentally and physically through that run but just kept thinking that it will end, I will finish and it would be good for me.
Those are runs and races that you will always remember. I am sure it was a tough day for you. Sorry for your loss it’s never easy to lose a pet.
Right now, even though I’m not putting it on the blog, I’m stuck in a really negative thought cycle. I’m trying so hard to portray a positive front with the hopes that it will make me feel positive. There’s a lot going on besides my injury that is really affecting how I feel. But not being able to run is really hard, since that’s how I work out a lot of what’s going on in my life. I’m working hard to take steps to pull myself out of this negative cycle. Just keep pushing on, right?
It’s really so hard when you can’t do what you love especially when that is your stress reliever as well. But yes have to keep pushing on and know that it will pass. You know we are here for you!
I try not to watch the news too much. I like to stay informed but don’t believe any of them are telling the truth and the negative seems to sell.
I hold fast to my faith and believe that I need to be a positive influence in a world that seems so bleak at times.
Great post.
The news is hard to watch these days for sure
I totally know what you mean. It’s often easy to give the advice but difficult to do it yourself. I like the tip of just smiling, I do really think that changes your attitude.
I think so too! I am going to work harder on this myself
This girl only speaks POSITIVE! ONLY!!!!
I love this! Going to watch her talk now.
She is so inspiring!
I try to deal with negative self-talk by reminding myself to treat myself and talk to myself the way I would to a friend…. If I can’t be my own friend, I can’t expect others to be… (btw, still not getting posts in my inbox, but just remembered to check your blog since you usually post m,w,f… hopefully you will solve issue soon)
Thanks and yes I have someone working on it not sure what the prob is exactly. Appreciate your loyal readership 🙂
I’ve become quite good and shutting my brain off when I need to during a race or hard run.
It’s taken years of practice in order to do it most times.
It is really hard to do sometimes isn’t it?!
I love this! I always try to keep a positive mindset. I’m not a big smiler (it’s just my face) but most days I am smiling on the inside. I really like Nicole she is so nice and genuine.
I think people can tell when you smile on the inside as well. I love Nicole!
I am the same way and have a really hard time being my own cheerleader and motivation.
It can be really hard sometimes!
Negative self talk really is so damaging. I am working with a client right now who has nothing positive to say about herself or what she is capable of, I am trying my hardest to work with her to change her perspective.
It’s not easy! Good luck
I’ll take ANY advice from someone who won an Iron Man!! This is awesome!
She is truly an amazing woman
Oh how I needed this post!! I’m afraid to admit I struggle with the postive self-image thing especially on race day…I’m really great at encouraging others but I find myself derailed way too often. I recently bought a momentum bracelet that says endure, believe, achieve and when I wear that I feel more powerful. It’s my “lucky charm” so to speak. I’m pinning this post to remind myself to stay postive! Thank you for this. 🙂
I can easily fall into the same sort of thinking myself. I love the momentum bracelets as well. I think I will wear mine next race too.
I murmur with my music to block out all thoughts!
Great idea!
Great words!!! I try to smile as much as possible. It’s so disheartening to smile at someone who will not smile back…(seriously, why is it so difficult?). Often times, just the pure act of smiling feels good…and, like you said, will usually earn a return smile (which, in return, just might make you smile even more). 😉
Yes exactly!!
Focusing on the negative absolutely makes it difficult to perform your best. Whether its with a smile, a pep talk, a lucky charm, whatever it is that’ll help you to focus on the positive, do it so that you can shine your brightest.
Sometimes hard to do!
I also have training in psychology and have worked with clients on overcoming negative thoughts but its still hard for me to do myself! I like that idea to just smile. It’s so simple but often forgotten about!
I know it’s so simple yet so effective!
I used to find it so hard to visualize success but I’m learning and I think it really does make a difference!
It does make a difference and I hope to get better at it
Workout, go window shopping, adult coloring, read only positive posts… just some of the things that help keep me positive.
Those are great ideas! Thanks
Working on positivity has always been a challenge for me. I know that attitude is everything, but sometimes it’s hard to keep it in perspective! You got this! 🙂
It is very challenging for me as well. Let’s both work on it! 🙂
I need to learn how to do this better myself. The negativity sets in the morning of a race, which is just about the last time you want it to!!
That is exactly what happens to me!!
i try to surround myself with positive people..or someone who i can confide in to talk out all the feelings.
That does help me as well
I have to really fight negativity during races. If anything goes wrong, even with my music, I start being negative. I fight it with my mantra, “Inhale confidence, exhale doubt”.
Ooh I like that mantra!
I actually don’t struggle with this TOO much (although the stressing about the weather is real). I do trust my training, unless I’m injured.
I repeat to myself “this a great race, a great pace” — even if it isn’t. In races & just on training runs!
I do have a lucky visor that some famous runners I admire have signed, and I wear that in races when I can. Could Deena Kastor’s signature make me run faster? 😉
When I remember, I’ll try to take 10 deep breaths before the start.
Yes I totally think your visor helps you run better!
great post! I agree with you , it is easier said than done sometimes! A smile can change your whole day and someone else too! I like how she talks about wearing her first skirt. We all have favorite shirts, skirts, socks or a bracelet that remind us of a happy spot- we should not be afraid to use them 🙂
Yes I agree and she is so incredibly confident it just oozes out
Great message to start my morning! I am constantly trying to get people to switch the script! Yesterday my three year old asked my husband to feed her and he rolled his eyes. I told him he should be thrilled and excited that he gets to feed our smart beautiful 3 year old and stop being negative! 😉 we are the same. We just have to think about how we get to be awesome each day!! Keep up the hard work mama. You are doing great!!
Thanks! It is a struggle sometimes for sure but I’d like to work on being more positive
I love the “just smile” tip. Every time I’m in a race and feeling miserable, I always feel better after I smile for the camera. Even though it starts as a fake smile, it really does a lot to boost how I’m feeling.
It can really work can’t it?
This post hits home for so many reasons! I tend to lean toward thinking negatively and can tell you first hand how that definitely causes a negative impact on training and life in general. Over the past 10 years I have actively taken steps to create a more positive mindset and it actually works.
I am so glad to hear that you are learning to overcome these destructive thoughts. I hope to really work on it. I can easily get derailed.
GREAT Post! My Coach always tells me “Just Smile, you will run faster” 🙂
I really do think it can work!
Such great advice–I have been really struggling with marathon training—have been cutting mileage and just not as motivated as I am to coach my runners! Thanks for the inspiration!
Thank you! We all sort of need a kick in head sometimes to realize our negative thinking.
I also believe that negativity around you effects how you feel about yourself, so my top tip is to not listen to negativity around you!
Agreed but not always easy to do!